Growing up in Dubai I feel people and lives were much simpler, loving, warm and beautiful when we were young. We knew who our neighbors were, we would just open their door and would run inside playing and would be welcomed by the uncles and aunties. A small one dirham coin would buy me so many goodies and held so much value that when my mother would hand me one after my report card I would be on the seventh sky. Love and warmth was all around us and in all the people we met. Our family friend dinners meant lots of yummy food with mothers working all day preparing scrumptious meals dressed in simple yet beautiful clothes . When we visited their homes. we were greeted with hugs and kisses not expensive gifts and that would suffice. We were judged by our smiles and our love and character and not our outfits .Our mothers were accepted and loved by each other without the presence of any ‘branded bags’ or ‘designer clothes’. It was all about character back than. It was all about simplicity and that was respected and cherished. I never heard my mother judge anybody after we returned from a dinner party. I never heard her discussing who wore which designer dress or which ‘anty’ at a gathering apparently was wearing the same dress for the third time. I never heard her even discuss who did what after a gathering. Women were less educated yet much deeper in personality and truer to themselves. They were less empowered but were more selfless and inviting. Their hearts were bigger and they were willing to sacrifice much more for the needs of their children and their families. We were not raised by maids but our mothers spent every minute on us embedding moral values deep within our souls.
Today we live in a modern city, yet every other day I see women belittling one another. Now that I have become a mother I feel my life is nothing like it was for my mother. My neighbors don’t have time to say ‘hi’ let alone meeting often. I don’t blame them for this but thats’ just how lives have become. When we attend social dinners now women are all about how trendy you look, which bag you carry and if you have thrown enough parties recently or if half of Dubai has invited you to their parties or not. Social gatherings are just a means of shallow talk or a reason to advertise on facebook how happy we are and has no meaning to it. Simplicity is termed as ‘paindoo’ I must say . ( An urdu word meaning somebody who has no sense of style) Children are raised by maids and mothers are too busy with their social lives. They can miss their children’s bedtime story but not a selfie that needs to be taken at Mrs. Y’s party . It saddens me that relationships no longer hold love or warmth but are just used as means to publicize how social someone is or how big their social network is. It’s all a big game. The more you party , the more you socialize the easier you win. The more money you throw , the trendier outfits you wear the more ‘wanted ‘ you become. And let’s not forget, you make one just one small mistake and you would be dejected shunned and thrown out of this social crowd like a tabboo. Nobody would go deep enough to find out what went wrong, “did she have a reason behind what she did ? maybe she had some personal issues with her husband, maybe her kids were giving her a tuff time or just maybe she was not in the best mental state” It doesn’t matter. Emotions, family lives and feelings hold no value to this cult. Yes I say ‘cult’ cause they have a following and people dont realise when they become part of it. They detest it, they abhor it yet they follow blind and do the same.
I’m not here to judge anyone. All I believe is people should let others be as they are. Let the lady who wishes to raise her kids be her first priority be as is and respect her for it. If Mrs X did not carry a branded bag it doesn’t make her any less of a good person. If she was not invited or chose not to attend any social gathering just maybe she has her priorities set differently. Dont sit and discuss others instead discuss something more meaningful which carries less sin than this does. Lives have been made complex by nobody but ourselves. I miss the time we were growing up. I miss my mothers ‘simple’ life and I miss the love and respect she carried in her heart for everyone. May Allah guide us all to respect and love one another. May we be guided to cherish and value emotions relationships and domestic lives more than the social media and society. No offense to anyone here as I’m not some big shot , I’m just an “ordinary paindoo girl living in Dubai” 🙂