Im hiding in the bathroom while I can hear my little toddler whacking the bathroom door wailing and shouting “mamaa mamaa”. Where do you go? Where do you hide? There’s no escape from motherhood. Sometimes I feel Im part of some insane reality show and my nerves are being tested to check at what point would I go insane. Why don’t they prep us for such things at college. Why doenst somebody train you to stay awake at a stretch for countless nights while your kids one after the other wake you up and come up with excuses of not sleeping that leave you baffled. My toddler doesnt even give me an excuse he simply wails and shouts in my ear till Im half deaf.
As I sit on thr bathroom floor with my back against the tub I rest my face on the palm of my hands and slowly the sounds submerge. I start daydreaming and am taken to another world where Im in a lush green beautiful countryside with clouds hovering all around. I imagine the pitter patter of rain drops. I imagine being alone in this serene moment as the cold breeze brushes across my face. The silence in my dream is mesmerising. Im dressed in a beautiful red dress that stands out marvelously against the green fields. I can hear the birds chirp as they flock together against the backdrop of snowy covered mountain tops. In the distance I see my hero ( my husband ) dressed in a royal blue tuxedo holding his arm out towards me calling me towards him. The handsome smirky smile across his face is just as was the first time I saw him after we signed our marriage papers. I pull my flowly red gown and clench it at my waist so I don’t trip as I start to run towards him in slow motion.
“Mamaa mamaa” ” mama he’s pulling my hair mamaaaaaaa aaaaaaaa ” I am shaken and awakened by the wailing and screaming of my daughter yelling and crying and my toddler yelling even louder than her. Im brought to reality with a jerk and in a ‘poof’ im back to my shabby pajamas and smelly shirt stained with baby formula. I am the mother version of cinderella right now where the spell just broke and Im back to my crazy life. “Im coming beta im coming ” I yell back and smile as I pull myself up. I glance in the mirror as I grab the door handle and I see a girl with big puffy dark circles, messy hair buttoned up with a pink clip half broken, hunched back shoulders and a weary face stare back at me. I sigh and open the door and my daughter and son push into my arms with force and hug me together. ” We missed you mamaa, why did you take so long inside” my daughter complains while my toddler pushes his head into my arms in a circular motion as if he is a drill and can get further into me. I giggle and I laugh. I hold them both tight and hug them and smile. Joys of being a mother. One moment you’re falling in a ditch and the next you’re flying in the air.