A letter to my Old Age…

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Dear Me,

If you have forgotten let me remind you how beautiful life was for you. In regret of what could have been do not forget what was worth remebering. As you stare at your wrinkled hands today remind yourself how they were once young and pretty. Do you remember waking up to the sounds of chirping birds and the fragnance of wet mud sneaking into our home. The pitter patter of raindrops on the roof reminded me of tiny bird feet dancing in the rain. You would wake up fresh in an instant with no effort at all as your young body would be zesting with the energy of youth. Do you remember looking into the mirror and seeing a fresh glowing skin radiant as the morning sky. I’m sure you never realised that would not remain forever. If only you’d have admired yourself a little longer. If only you had realized than that you were beautiful.

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Childhood giggles, playing Ludo with friends, dancing in the rain like no one’s watching; do you remember secretly admiring him in school ? How naive were those dreams. How innocent were those ambitions and how deeply you were convinced life would turn out as you aspired. Bunking college , singing songs in the canteen and etching names on the wooden desks ( T+M ) at school , life sped through like a racing car in a flash. Why did good moments pass by so quick? Do you remember sitting at your home cross legged on the floor with your friends and chatting and laughing for hours on silly jokes. Not a care in the world we lived college life like it would last forever.

Listening to songs in the rain, long drives with a cup of chai , moving relentlessly through the passage of time do you remember etching dreams on the windows of time. Waiting for Mr. Right, making silly mistakes and than sitting heartbroken at the window staring up at the sky. Do you remembee how heartbreaks felt forever. Do you remember wiping those tears not knowing life has so much more to bring. In those beautiful tearful sweet sorrowful moments were hidden bittersweet memories of unrequitted love. Now that you look back doesnt it seem beautiful. Even the desolate moments of youth seem meaningful now.

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Marriage vows, butterflies in the stomach , those heavenly honeymoon monents of love. Those promises, those letters, those eternal moments of staring into each others eyes. Does that dry withered rose pressed between your favourite book bring back memories of a beautiful love bound in the threads of marrige.  Do you remember your first home. How you painted the walls of your memories with vibrant colors.  The cry of your first born when she was born. The nights you cradled her in your arms smelling the fragnace of new born skin pressed against your cheeks. Do you remember the tears of joy it brought to your eyes.  A home filled with laughter, chasing your toddler as he ran away with a pen to scribble on the walls. An innocent full mouthed smile stretched across one cheek to the other with two small rabbit teeth peeking from inside. Do you remember your little boy’s smile as he giggled when you tickled him.

Sleepless nights with milk bottles and baby cries. Arguing with your husband for always being late from work. Feeling useless and aimless as a “be at home mom”. Do you rememeber there was beauty even in those moments. Your kids cried but they ached for you, they yelled cause they didnt want to part from you. He would come home late cause he wanted to work hard and give you a better life. You had love all around you do you remember. There was never silence in your home. It was painted with the love of a mother nurturing her kids. Dont you remember how those tiny hands would hold yours so tight at night. “I want to sleep with you forever mama” she would say. How blessed you were to have children who were healthy and fine.

Now when life has passed so fast and things seem tuff just remember that life was always beautiful but when it passed before your eyes you never noticed. If it feels you are tired and your soul is tarnished just remember life was beautiful and you were lucky to experience its beauty and joy in the prime of your youth in things few people cherish. You were blessed with moments which lie so perfectly on the frames of your past etching a beautiful life for you to remember. Cherish them and remember life was good to you and always will be. These hands might be wrinkled today, these eyes might be weary and old but your heart is still the same and within that still lies “hope” “love” and “faith” It was a journey to remember and it was beautiful and that is all that matters my dear.

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