Working woman to a Home maker

I worked for nine years before I gave birth to my daughter. I never knew what life was like being at home for I started working straight at the time I started university. It wasn’t planned and I don’t think it’s something any mother can plan or know for sure. Until you see that little angel’s face you call ‘your child’ you never know what you really  want for your life. Same was with me. I took a maternity break and stopped working in my ninth month of pregnancy excited to welcome her in the last few days before she would arrive. It was exciting yet somewhere deep down I wanted to go back to work for I had never thought otherwise. When she finally arrived and I held her for the first time I never knew that not only was my daughter born that day but a mother was too. I became a mother to a beautiful little girl I named after an arabic surah from the Quran which means “morning light”. When I brought her home I still did not know what life was to become soon and how I was going to change as a person. But slowly as days passed and nights changed I transformed into a person I never knew I was. When my maternity break came to an end I looked at her one morning and she smiled at me. I held her tiny fingers in my hand and she clenched onto my finger. It was than that I knew what I really wanted from my life. I didn’t want to leave her. I wanted to be with her every second of this beautiful childhood she was about to step into. I wanted to be the first one to experience all of her milestones. I wanted to remember all these little joys her little feet would bring into my life and I wanted her memories to fill with me in them. I wanted her life’s journal to begin with me and her painted on each page. That is when I made my decision. I stepped in from being a working woman to a homemaker.

I resigned and I decided to dedicate the next few years to raise my little daughter. I gave up on my career, appraisals, promotions and many more self-worth raising opportunities that might have come in the corporate world. I remember my manager asking me “Are you sure you want to do this ? I mean there are many good daycares in this country, you can consider other options maybe a nanny? ” I smiled and replied ” I want my daughter’s memories to begin with her mother’s love and not with anybody else. I want her to start life in the safety security and comfort of her home and not a daycare. I want her to capture life’s beauty in relationships, in love and in harmony at home and for that I need to be around. I need to build the foundation of her personality with my words and my love and for that I need to be with her more than 3-4 hours a day which is what I would end up giving if I continued working. It was my choice. It was my priority at that time. It’s not about being right and wrong. This is not something anybody can categorize or define. It’s a personal choice and I made mine.

Today she is four years old and my day begins with getting her ready for school , arguing on why it’s important to wear P.E shoes today while my 17 month old holds onto my pajama’s mumbling ‘mama mama’. I grumble and grab onto him and hold him in my arms while I argue with my daughter to get ready on time. There are days she smiles and gets up in the most happy moods and I bid her a happy goodbye as she leaves for school and than there are days she shouts and argues and cries while I am angry morbid and frustrated. It’s a constant rollercoaster ride. My day begins amidst the chaos of shouting, laughing and lecturing and ends somewhere between changing diapers, reading bedtime stories and a little baby foot pushed across my face with a 4 year old hugging my leg. Yes there are day’s I feel worthless, unappreciated, exhausted and miss the  corporate world. But when my little one rests on my shoulder on those tedious tiring and miserable days and whispers “I love you Mama” it all seems worthwhile. When I crash into bed at night and the visions of the previous day pass through my minds window in flashes of beautiful memories filled with giggles, laughter kisses and hugs , I know I made the right choice for myself. Life seems worthwhile and all the missing pieces fall into place. These are the moments I want to remember for the rest of my life. This is what makes my life complete. My children my home and my husband are my haven as is for many of you and I wouldn’t give up this life for anything else. Thank you god for little little things that make life so beautiful.  Ameen

Dynamite Chicken

Everybody talks about P.F chang’s dynamite shrimps but I never hear anybody talk about the chicken. For foodies like me who don’t eat seafood this was an utter delight to find. Amazingly “dynamite chicken” is not on P.F Changs menu however you can order some for yourself and they’ll surely bring it as if its really on the menu.

The taste is simply awesome. A little spicy and a little tangy while the chicken inside is soft and melts in your mouth. Its an experience only chicken lovers like me can have day after day without getting bored. Served in a cocktail glass it looks exactly like the shrimps however you will be delighted to know its not. For years I visited P.F changs and I would stare at the other tables each one having an order on their tables. It would create a sense of curiosity within me however knowing I don’t eat seafood I would close my curious minds doors realizing its not for me. One evening thanks to my sister I was told they serve the same in chicken so I went and pulled out the menu looking for it butto my  disappointment   it wasn’t there. I called the waiter and asked for it and he said “sure mam I can get you that”. That day I waited like a five year old waiting for a toy eyeing the kitchen door. And hence I became a regular visitor and on days I wanted to skip carbs this would be my best deal .

For those who haven’t tried it as yet please dont waste time. You are missing out on alot in life. Go ahead and try the “dynamite chicken” surely to explode your tastebuds like a dynamite.

#P.F Chang’s # dynamitechicken #dynamiteshrimps #fooddiaries

Ramadan 2017

Half of Ramadan has passed and I wonder how. Amidst the sehri’s and iftar’s time has been running and I am chasing it. I stop to wonder if I have been doing enough to remeber Allah and if Im doing enough to please him and I realise I’m not. I am guilty of not being obedient enough and I want to ask him for forgivness.

Forgive me Allah for wasting my time on wordly pleasures where I could have been remebering you. Forgive me for not doing enough to serve mankind and instead focusing on my hunger and my iftar. Forgive me for not spending enough time teaching my daughter about you and instead doing homechores which could have been done later. I want forgivness for anything I did to displease you.

Managing a home, two small kids, being awake in the night while my toddler yells n cries due to teething I wake up a mess every morning. Tired exhausted and mentally numb I lack the motivation and energy to do anything. I tell myself I will do more everyday yet the kids and the home jusy take up most of my time. It is so difficult to explain to someone what takes up your time when you are a homemaker. Sometimes you cant even list the tasks. But at the end of the day i return exhausted to my bed and realise I didnt pray more or make more dua or do much more than I usually do. I guess all woman at home can relate to me. Sometimes its just difficult. Smaller kids drain the energy out of you and while you are fasting it gets even tuffer. I hope Allah shows us mercy and gives us the capacity to do more.

Tomorrow is a new day so I will try to do more. I want to make the most of this ramadan and I hope Allah helps me. I say a small prayer and before I know it my eyes are half shut and Im falling asleep after a long day.
Good night zzzzz

Social transformation

who is right

Growing up in Dubai I feel people and lives were much simpler, loving, warm and beautiful when we were young. We knew who our neighbors were, we would just open their door and would run inside playing and would be welcomed by the uncles and aunties. A small one dirham coin would buy me so many goodies and held so much value that when my mother would hand me one after my report card I would be on the seventh sky. Love and warmth was all around us and in all the people we met. Our family friend dinners meant lots of yummy food with mothers working all day preparing scrumptious meals dressed in simple yet beautiful clothes . When we visited their homes. we were greeted with hugs and kisses not expensive gifts and that would suffice. We were judged by our smiles and our love and character and not our outfits .Our mothers were accepted and loved by each other without the presence of any ‘branded bags’ or ‘designer clothes’. It was all about character back than. It was all about simplicity and that was respected and cherished. I never heard my mother judge anybody after we returned from a dinner party. I never heard her discussing who wore which designer dress or which ‘anty’ at a gathering apparently was wearing the same dress for the third time. I never heard her even discuss who did what after a gathering. Women  were less educated yet much deeper in personality and truer to themselves. They were less empowered but were more selfless and inviting. Their hearts were bigger and they were willing to sacrifice much more for the needs of their children and their families. We were not raised by maids but our mothers spent every minute on us embedding moral values deep within our souls.

Today we live in a modern city, yet every other day I see women belittling one another. Now that I have become a mother I feel my life is nothing like it was for my mother. My neighbors don’t have time to say ‘hi’ let alone meeting often. I don’t blame them for this but thats’ just how lives have become. When we attend social dinners now women are all about how trendy you look, which bag you carry and if you have thrown enough parties recently or if half of Dubai has invited you to their parties or not. Social gatherings are just a means of shallow talk or a reason to advertise on facebook how happy we are and has no meaning to it. Simplicity is termed as ‘paindoo’ I must say . ( An urdu word meaning somebody who has no sense of style) Children are raised by maids and mothers are too busy with their social lives. They can miss their children’s bedtime story but not a selfie that needs to be taken at Mrs. Y’s party . It saddens me that relationships no longer hold love or warmth but are just used as means to publicize how social someone is or how big their social network is. It’s all a big game. The more you party , the more you socialize the easier you win. The more money you throw , the trendier outfits you wear the more ‘wanted ‘ you become. And let’s not forget, you make one just one small mistake and you would be dejected shunned and thrown out of this social crowd like a tabboo. Nobody would go deep enough to find out what went wrong, “did she have a reason behind what she did ? maybe she had some personal issues with her husband, maybe her kids were giving her a tuff time or just maybe she was not in the best mental state” It doesn’t matter. Emotions, family lives and feelings hold no value to this cult. Yes I say ‘cult’ cause they have a following and people dont realise when they become part of it. They detest it, they abhor it yet they follow blind and do the same.

I’m not here to judge anyone. All I believe is people should let others be as they are. Let the lady who wishes to raise her kids be her first priority be as is and respect her for it. If Mrs X did not carry a branded bag it doesn’t make her any less of a good person. If she was not invited or chose not to attend any social gathering just maybe she has her priorities set differently. Dont sit and discuss others instead discuss something more meaningful which carries less sin than this does. Lives have been made complex by nobody but ourselves. I miss the time we were growing up. I miss my mothers ‘simple’ life and I miss the love and respect she carried in her heart for everyone. May Allah guide us all to respect and love one another. May we be guided to cherish and value emotions relationships and domestic lives more than the social media and society. No offense to anyone here as I’m not some big shot , I’m just an “ordinary paindoo girl living in Dubai” 🙂




Wounds hurt most when fresh. It takes time for them to heal. My daughter came crying from school today as she had fallen down and got a small bruise. She said she did not want to bathe for it would hurt. Infact she refused to do anything as she felt it would make her pain worse. How innocent of a 4 year old to believe that even eating her own lunch would probably worsen her pain.

As we grow up and we face loss don’t we become the same; a child who has fallen down. We stop doing our usual tasks. Momentarily life even stops and we’re scared to move forward and infact scared to do anything at all that might make our pain worse. Loss of a loved one creates that wound on our hearts which takes years and years to heal but never goes away completely. A friend of mine lost her mother recently and she asked me how I survived so many years for she felt lost in just an year after losing her. We’ll talk about my loss later butfor the time being I told her one thing “It takes time for wounds to hurt less but with time all the pain becomes passive and slowly what seemed impossible at first becomes a part of your life”. We move on , we live and we remember. Some wounds never heal and they leave a permanent mark on us forever. When we see them we reminisce for they bring back memories pouring in like a thunderstorm. Hold on to your umbrella of faith when they do for in those moments it shall all seem alive once again. However every cloud passes with time and every thunderstorm ends and brings a sun shining back the next day. Wait for your sun to shine and wait for the wounds to heal.

“Molten me” a taste of sheer happiness

Yesterday I bumped into this coffee/dessert shop in Jumeirah and based on a friends recommendation decided go give it a try. The shop is named “MOLTEN ME”

“Wow” is the only word I can use to describe it. The concept is pretty cute with little glass jars that hold a scrumptious cake filled with a filling of your choice. As you indulge in the first spoon you can see the filling oozing out may it be white choclate or hazelnut. The jars are hot while they are served and the first bite itself warm and rich makes you wanting more. They offer a wide variety of bases to choose from. The base here being the soft “melt in the mouth” cake and the fillings too have a wide variety to choose from.

You will surely want to try more after having one jar. The presentation is highly detailed with wooden boards shaped to fit the jar and the spoon which in turn match the interior of the shop. A dessert which is a must try for those with a sweet tooth. Simple delicious, satisfying and an experience surely delivering sheer moments of joy. You will keep coming back for more.

#moltenme #dubaidessert #sweetcravings #dubaimoltenme #cakedubai

The Setting Sun

The Setting Sun


I travelled on a boat once. When we reached a point where the land was nowhere visible my eyes fathomed if I were never to see the shore again. I closed my eyes and let my imagination run past my reality and when I opened my eyes I saw the setting sun. This is life. You start on land and when it ends your feet are adrift and far away is the horizon pulling you closer and closer till darkness encompasses your entire vision. You float. You ponder. Slowly the setting sun sets for the last time. And between this life and the other lies a small moment of choice. The choice you make today.

Tiny Hands

Today as i cut my 4 year old daughters fingernails I had a flashback of the time I was 4 years old. How my mother must have loved me caressed me and held me tight and than how with time she must have let loose her loving grip on me to allow me to grow wings and fly away. What courage god has given mothers to love someone as much as we do and than let them out in this world on their own. I read a little prayer as I waved her good bye for school.

Every single day mothers around the world do the same and than as children grow they face their share of tragedies and mistakes. The cycle has repeated and will keep repeating. Cherish these little moments while they last. These tiny hands will soon grow into hands that fit yours before you know it. Strange are human beings for even though they know the reality of life yet they chase things that dont really matter and ignore those that do.

Tomorrow when you kiss your child goodnight feel it a little more. When you cut their nails next time stare a bit more at those tiny fragile hands cause soon they wont be as tiny as they seem. Next time you bathe your little one absorb that full mouthed smile and click a picture in your eyes to remember it for rainy days ahead. What you will carry forward to old age will be these memories and not the fortunes you make. Cherish them while they last. Love them while they accept it. Nothing lasts forever. Hold those tiny hands a little longer today for you never know how long it lasts.